Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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PATHETIC

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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black people. that is all...

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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