What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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