HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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boobs

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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The Olympics

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Where is my tractor?

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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