What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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Wanna here a good joke?

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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