What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Mitt Romney

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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