what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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kesha is a virgin.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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