A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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