why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

u suck

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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