whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

thumb_up thumb_down +19

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops