Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

i eat poop and i dont care what you think 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...