Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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