What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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