knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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Xzibit

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Why? Why Not?

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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