How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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woman's rights

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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hey John will you make some copies

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops