have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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what do u call a apple a apple

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops