Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a woman leaves the kitchen.......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +16

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops