what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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hey John will you make some copies

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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woman's rights

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops