What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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The Olympics

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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