Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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