What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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PEANIS!

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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mark lawson likes boys

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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