Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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are you gay does your mom know

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Please Rape William Wright

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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