Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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