what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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mark lawson likes boys

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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pauls tuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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