Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops