what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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No, Trinidad.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops