what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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Stealth baseballs record

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Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

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Donkey lips

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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Laugh

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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