hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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