What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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