Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

anal seepage

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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