A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Women's Rights

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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