What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Justin Bieber

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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