What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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