Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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WNBA

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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I have suicidal thoughts

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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