How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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NEVER

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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420

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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