Chuck norris

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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You have friends

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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