Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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chuck norris

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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what do u call a apple a apple

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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