your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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potatoes

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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