Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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