Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

My parents have an open marriage.

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

Reading books

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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