A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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The Olympics

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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