A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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