What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops