Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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You

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops