Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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call of duty world at war

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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