Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops