A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

So you there Red?

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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