A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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bacon

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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u suck

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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