whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

thumb_up thumb_down -6

They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey John will you make some copies

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops