A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

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Women's rights

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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