Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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your social life.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops