Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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more chocolate?

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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No, Trinidad.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops