What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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raisin boogers

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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