Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Im black

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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You have friends

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Abortion

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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why was the boy sad? because.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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