Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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PENIS

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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raisin boogers

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops